what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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How old is victor? Old

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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42

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Whats worst than getting screwed. Your mother

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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