How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops