A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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