What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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