Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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