Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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What sucks?

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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