What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Nobody cares.

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops