Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's 9+10=? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops