cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Josh kissing a girl

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Yes. Just Yes.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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