How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Lil' Wayne

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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