What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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What is a question?

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 4 and 5 then raped 10

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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