What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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4/20.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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I am Skaldak!

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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