What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

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what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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