A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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hey.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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alert("The Game");//

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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