Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

womens rights

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

Your mother

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...