How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Knock Knock Come in

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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