What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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BOOBIES!!!!!!!

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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