See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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cms.......?????

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops