Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops