Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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the WNBA

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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A man walks into an anti Joke.

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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