A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops