What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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