What is a question?

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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