Flab

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Gabe Mercado

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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i love antijokes

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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