Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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this is a joke

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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Women"s Rights

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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