What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops