When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

Why did the blond couldn't put a piece of meat into her mouth? Because she was vegetarian.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

you know what hurts.... PAIN

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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