What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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h

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Your social life

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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