9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why did the man not make any change at his job? Because he is Barack Obama.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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cot!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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