A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

DOWN

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

Dozer has a soul

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

Kah-________-

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

Compton

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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