What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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nice shorts.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops