What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Hello

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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brett is a dick

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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what do snozberries taste like? Lama

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Lebron Traveled

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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