I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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