How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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