Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

My mom.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...