A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

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gay rights

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops