Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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a atheist and a christian walk into a bar, they are good friends and enjoy their conversations.

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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