I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

gay rights

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

can't wait until the baby boomers die

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

women playing football?

minecraft

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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