A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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Penis jokes.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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Where's my tractor?

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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