A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Women"s Rights

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Rebecca Black

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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