Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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That's what he said.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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