Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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