How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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h

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What is brown and sticky?

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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