Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Womens' rights.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops