What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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im a selling a car

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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maddie latino

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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