What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

Left. That one direction...

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

whats funny? ebola and 911

Your mom

who smells? •Liam

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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