There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What do you do when you see a one legged black man? Stop laughing and reload.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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alert('hiiii');

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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