There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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stop it ryan vallee

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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A fat boy walked into a party

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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