What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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