Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

George Bush does not care about black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops