Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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42.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Looks through the peephole.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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